Letting go of Control

I have met the enemy and it is my “To Do List”

Many of you are like me, “control freaks”. I schedule, analyze, mind map, prioritize, and worry about how to spend every moment of a typical day. I am supposed to be a guru on the topic, after all I have created an online class on the topic. For years I have studied the time planning techniques of the masters, David Allen, Stephen Covey, Julie Morgenstern and many others. Yet I felt unproductive, stressed and dissatisfied.

About 10 days ago I had one of those “aha” moments in a flash of inspiration. I was attending a leadership retreat being facilitated by a skilled practitioner in mediation and self examination. During one of our meditation exercises she had participants mentally think through our answers to a series of 15 or 20 questions. Questions such as: Will you believe in your own giftedness? Will you walk with insecurity for awhile? Will you open up your heart? . . . Then came the show stopping question for me: Will you let go of your own strong control? Even in a deep state of meditation I became agitated over this question.

Once the mediation exercise was completed, we broke into groups of six or seven to discuss our reactions to the questions. As it turned out, I was not the only participant who had trouble with that question. It seems we were all borderline control freaks.

What followed was one of the most insightful discussions I’ve ever been involved with. As a group we began to seriously question why each of us so strongly avoided allowing our natural instincts to influence our daily activities and tasks, and instead had allowed “our to do” lists to dominate our lives.

Like a bolt of lightning an utterance came out of my mouth. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s been haunting me ever since. Could my need for control, mean that I am really out of control? That meeting was over 10 days ago, but I cannot get that thought out of my mind. Have I equated productivity with happiness???? If so, why was I not leading a truly joyful life? I think I have been over controlling my time out of fear and insecurity. Fear that my natural instincts are not good enough, and that the laws of attraction work for everybody else but for me. Profound observations.

In the meantime I am conducting research on my new class “What Everyone Ought to Know About The Law of Attraction” and I have come across much material that has me seriously questioning my personal time management systems. Here are just a couple:

From Ken MacLean’s The Vibrational Universe Are you the kind of person that wants to be in control? That is understandable, for part of deliberate creating is consciously defining and creating your life. However, there is a subtle but important distinction between the need to be in control, and conscious, mindful creation; the former proceeds from a feeling of insecurity and the latter from a feeling of power and confidence.As soon as you really work at allowing, you are not allowing any more. Paradoxically, the more powerful you are, the less you are working at it. The less you work, the more relaxed you are and the easier it gets. The easier it gets, the more you get done. Allowing, or non—resistance, is about maintaining a state of being which sustains a Vibrational orientation, creating positive emotion within, leading to more effective action cycles, and matching you up with the people and resources necessary to accomplish your goals. ,,
From Wayne Dyer’s The Power of IntentionFollow your hunches. Watch the signals. Listen to your intuition. If you get a desire to make a plan of action, so be it. Do it. But if you get a desire to go for a walk, or to watch television, or to surf the web, then do that. You never know where your Inspired Action will take you, but because you set a goal, your intuition will find a shortcut to your dreams. Inspired Action works because your ego can only see limited terrain while the universe can see it all. Your ego might say, “Write a business plan.” Inspired Action comes from the bigger picture, which you can’t always see until you’ve taken the actions you’re being inspired to take. Finally, the more you can quiet your mind, still your thoughts, and relax your body, the more you will hear the inner voice nudging you in the direction of your dreams. When it speaks, move. That’s Inspired Action.The point is, letting go doesn’t mean do nothing. It means take action based on your inspiration. If you feel moved from within to make a call, or run an ad, or take a walk, or build community, then do so. Just have the spirit of nonattachment as you do. Nonattachment is letting go. Again, when you want something and are fine if you get or not, then you are most likely going to receive it. You must let go of your attachment to success to attract success. ,,

The secret behind the law of attraction is very simple and basic . . . let your emotional well being tell you whether you are on in tune at any given moment to the abundance of the universe. Remember the old saying from the 60’s “If it feels good, do it”? Well as it turns out, that is a pretty good time management principal.

Lately I have been trusting my emotions to dictate my day a lot more than I have in the past. I’m letting go of fear and worry about getting it all done, and I’m spending more of my day doing those activities that bring joy into my life.

Try it! You won’t regret it!

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